Friend or Foe? Getting the Balance Right

One of the hardest things about teaching is getting the balance right in a classroom. On a human level, one's gut instinct is to reach out, be kind, forgiving and eternally optimistic. My personal inclination is to simply be what they call a "push over", the sort of teacher who never gets angry, is always insufferably nice, the proverbial (or Dahlian) Miss Honey. In my first ever teaching role at Oxted School, my reputation preceded me. I was known and introduced (by students) as the "nice teacher". While this worked -to an extent, my teaching strategies inevitably changed. In my second year, my form group noticed the change. I remember overhearing one of them in conversation. "She used to be nice, but she's turned evil!"

When I look back at when I was in school and university, I find that the teachers I respected most -the one's that made the hugest impression -were the 'strict' ones. The one's I feared and liked in equal proportion. The one's that I wanted to impress. The one's who maintained a certain distance. Firm, Fair, but most of the time downright frightening.

I now know, after a few years of being in education, that the strict, sufficiently distant, appproach is undoubtedly the best. The only problem is with that approach, you don't always get to be...nice. And that's a shame. 99% of students in any given classroom don't have discipline issues and when we expend most of our energy focusing on behavioural strategies, this fact is often forgotten. Still, it's the only approach that works -unless you had a class that was 100% perfect and that, in my experience, is very rarely the case.

The key then (for me anyway) is to be downright frightening (in a firm, apporpriate, and perhaps even midly humourous manner) to the entire class, but kind, compassionate and understanding on a one to one.

The class as a whole cannot be treated as an individual. That's where most teachers go wrong. A Class must be controlled. A certain degree of fear (the sort of fear that makes one want to do their best) is necessary for control.

I sometimes am overcome with a wave of pity (love, nearly) for some of my classes. They sit there in absolute silence -if that is what I ask for -and it's hard not to want to 'favour' them a little. And so they are occasions, I let the discipline slack a little -allow them to talk, overlook it if they're a little late. But the moment you do that, you're setting yourself up for certain failure. Give an inch and they take a mile. Be consistent with discipline and standards. When students know the boundaries cannot be tested, they are content to cooperate within them. When you suggest that they (the boundaries) may in fact be flexible, they're going to want to know how far they can go...

So, in conclusion:

A Class, as a whole, cannot be treated as an individual. There must be rules, discipline, standards and a clear structure. When it comes to the individuals themselves the rules can be temporarily laid aside to make room for relationship. A relationship in which a student knows you secretly believe in them, that you aren't in fact evil, and that classroom fear aside, you would bend over backwards to help them should they need it....

Isn't that what God did for us? He laid aside the rules, to make room for relationship -a relationship with Him. Subsequently, in a relationship where there is mutual respect, the rules automatically come into play. God dealt with humanity in a similar manner. The old testament is about rules, rituals and structure. The new testament is about relationship and revelation.